The Path To Self-Care: A Journey Worth Taking

Let me start by revealing a secret that society doesn't want you to believe in. The secret is that you are your biggest resource! You have within you the power to heal, to grow, to believe, to object, to change, and to bring down the barriers that stand in your way. And it all starts with self-awareness.

Internet is filled with articles advocating the importance of self-care. But more often than not the idea of self-care is reduced to having spa days, lighting scented candles, and “treating yourself” by doing things that you enjoy doing. While all of this can be a part of self-care, true self-care is much more than this.

What is self-care?

Self-care is about choosing to do things that are in your best interest and that lead you to realizing your true potential. But the question is, how can we know what things are in our best interest? And that’s where self awareness comes to play. The journey of self-care starts with self-awareness.

The role of self-awareness

The process of belief formation starts right after we are born. The way we experience the world shapes our beliefs about the world as well as about ourselves. According to Erik Erikson’s stages of development, it is infancy that we learn to trust or mistrust the world around us. If our caregivers are giving us the right amount of attention and are taking care of our needs, we learn the world to be a safe place and vice versa.

In early childhood children learn to have a sense of personal control. However, if during this stage children are shamed for little accidents and are not allowed to make any choices (for example, choosing a preferred toy), instead learning autonomy, they learn shame and guilt. This hinders their ability to make decisions as they grow up.

We carry the beliefs that we form in the early stages of our life, into adolescence, and eventually into adulthood. And if we keep living on auto-pilot those beliefs keep on getting strengthened with time. The first step towards self-awareness is becoming aware of your own self-limiting beliefs.

Self-awareness exercise

Find a quiet and relaxing place and sit down with a pen and a paper. Ask yourself the question: “Why do I think I can’t do what I want to do in my life?” Notice and note down the thoughts that follow it. Those thoughts are your self-limiting beliefs. Take time to question the validity of those beliefs and contemplate on why you think the way you think. Once you have done that, try finding evidence from your own life that defies those self-limiting beliefs and finally replace each self-limiting belief with an empowering belief.

Example:

Self-limiting belief: I don’t have time to pursue my passion.

Empowering belief: I can manage my time more effectively to make room for things that are important to me.

Why is questioning your beliefs important?

When people tell you that you shouldn’t or cannot do something, it has to do more with them than you. One explanation is the Freudian concept of projection. Sometimes when people tell you that you are not capable of going after your dreams it is because they themselves feel incapable of achieving their dreams and they project their insecurities on you to protect their own ego.

Another explanation is the feeling of intimidation. For example, if your co-workers keep telling you that you cannot be promoted to a better position, it might be so because they are afraid that if you come in a position of power, you will question all the wrongs going on in the workplace, you will rebel, and you will disrupt the corrupt system in which they have grown comfortable.

Do not let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. There is no person more trustworthy than you are for yourself and there is no person who can wish better for you than your own inner self. So get into the habit of questioning your beliefs and identifying their source. It is only through this practice that you can learn how flawed they are and gain the courage to challenge them.

Self-acceptance and self-trust

What follows self-awareness is self-acceptance and self-trust. When you question the self-limiting beliefs you have been holding about yourself all life long, you get the opportunity to learn what part of those beliefs actually have some truth to them and what part is completely absurd. For example, if your self-limiting belief is, “I am not good at time-management and I can never learn to be better,” there might be some truth to it.

Perhaps you really are not good at time management but time management is a skill and you can always learn to be better at it. However, in order to be better at it, you first need to accept that you are not currently good at it. But will you try to be better at it if you are holding on to the self-limiting belief: “I am not good at time-management and I can never learn to be better.” The answer is no, you won’t.

To bring about a change you need to replace the limiting belief with an empowering belief. It will sound something like this, “I am not good at time management and its okay, I can always learn to be better at it.” You can see both self-acceptance (I am not good at time management and its okay), and self-trust (I can always learn to be better at it) in the empowering belief statement.

Self-love

Just as self-acceptance and self-trust can only exist where there is self-awareness, self-love can only exist where there is self-acceptance and self-trust. When you stop seeing yourself from the eyes of others and from your own biases against yourself, you learn to accept yourself as you are and love yourself unconditionally. It is this unconditional love that ultimately leads to self-care. We value what we love and we care for things that we value. When we finally learn to value ourselves, self-care becomes natural. We know that we are worthy of all the time, energy, and attention that we can give ourselves and we begin to work towards our highest good.

We hope that this article will help you embark on your journey of self-care that starts with self-awareness, is followed by self-acceptance and self-trust, and ultimately leads you to self-care through the path of self-love. Have a peek inside yourself and uncover the treasures hidden under the dust of self-limiting beliefs. Miracles are waiting!